Anger as powerlessness!

It is through developing autonomy that anger drops out of our repertoire of responses

I have been having various discussions recently about anger.  The most compelling explanation of its presence in adults in a modern society is to do with a lack of empowerment.  A four-year-old will get angry when they can’t get their way but as they grow up, they develop increasingly sophisticated ways of navigating the world that don’t require raw anger, as it is not especially effective, even at four-years-old.

Yet, as someone applies these more sophisticated methods and there is no adequate response, then the methods applied become increasingly less sophisticated – meaning that more of the person’s power is being given away: negotiation as equal, asking from an inferior position, pleading, as examples of increasingly less powerful positions.

When all power has been given away (or taken away) the only recourse left is anger.  All the sophistication has gone and the raw four-year-old is back.

From this perspective all anger is a projection of our powerlessness.

Davy Surier - #angry #kid.

Thus anger (or passive aggression) are the result of a lack of power.

To become successful adults, children need to build their capability to move beyond this early response stage and build more versatile responses to setbacks and challenges.  They do this by having their innate drive for autonomy supported by the adults around them so that they can learn to use their time and energy in meaningful ways, ways that meet their need.

In the past, autonomy was curbed in schools but now is increasingly better supported.

But more can be done.

My new book Why we Teach explains how curbing autonomy has such long-term and pernicious effects on people, throughout their lives.

John Corrigan is an expert in helping individuals to bring their whole of mind to their daily life and increase their effectiveness and the effectiveness of those around them. This expertise scales from the individual to the team to the organisation. At the core of this work is the practice of encounter.  Earlier blogs can be found here.

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